Friday, April 24, 2009

One year ago today...

One year ago today my (then) 5 week old baby got his trach.

One year ago today my 5 week old baby began the road to coming home.

One year ago today I left the hospital for nearly 24 hours. It was the first time in 5 weeks that I had left his side for more than a couple hours. M2 was completely sedated and could not be moved or picked up for at least 24 hours after surgery. His wonderful nurse, Grandma Becky, called me every 2-3 hours to update me.

One year ago today words like tracheostomy tube, trach ties, sterile q-tips, split 2x2's, Heat Moisture Exchanger or HumiVent, trach guard, sterile water, Saline Bullets, sputum, Sputum Culture, Specimen Trap, 3.0 & 3.5 Shiley Neo Natel, lead electrodes, suctioning, Suction Machine, Ambu bag, Apnea Monitor, Cool Mist, Passy-Muir Valve, site care, pseudomonas, Tracheitis, obturator, tracheostomy mask, Little Neo Suckers, 8 French Catheters, RSV, Synagis, and stoma all became 'normal' words in our vocabulary.

One year ago today site care, tie changes and trach changes all became part of my routine.

One year ago today I cried because I felt like we gave up the battle when we let the Drs give M2 a trach.

One year ago today I was scared to death of being able, or not able, to take care of him, and his trach.

One year ago today I was afraid that M2's trach would change how much I loved him.

Today I still remember that time in the NICU like it was yesterday, the 5 weeks before the trach surgery and the 2 after.

Today, I know that there is no better place for M2, or all of us for that matter, than at home.

Today I know that taking a break, even if it's a short break, is always helpful.

Today I know that adding new words to my vocabulary isn't always a bad thing.

Today site care, tie changes and trach changes is second nature to me, I can do them fast, and though, I've never tried, probably in my sleep. I have even been told several times by his pediatrician, his ENT NP and several RN's, that M2 has one of, if not the, cleanest trach site they have ever seen. And yes, I know it may seem silly, but I do take pride in that.

Today I realize we didn't give up the battle we just chose to fight it at home.

Today I know that I am completely able to take care of M2, and his trach.

Today I know that if anything, M2's trach made me love him that much more, because of everything he went through. And how hard he fights.

Today, the countdown begins. July 20th is his follow up with Dr. Cotton. On July 20 he will be exactly 16 months. The minimum age he can be for Dr. Cotton to schedule his reconstruction surgery. On July 20th we will (hopefully) get an exact date of his surgery. His trach (if all goes well) will come out 6 weeks after his surgery. Today, the countdown begins, to a new life style.My, things sure have changed in a year....


Kelley with Amy's Angels said...

It's amazing what a year can bring. Here's praying that the visit goes well in July! : )

Aileigh said...

Something I am going to tell you is something that has been told to me time and time again by my BFF.... You are one amazing woman! It is easier for me to say it than to hear it. I just did what I had to do to get through. But to come out on the other side with such a strong and positive attitude is what makes you amazing! I can't wait to see what this appt/surgery will bring for M2 and you! :)

Sturgmom said...

Bless your heart. And his! What a difference a year makes, indeed! Praying now for what's to come in July!

T Rex Mom said...

Looking forward to your appointment with you. Although, sounds like you are a total pro now!

Maybe you can give me a few lessons. It's been a few years since I've done trach care!

LOVE those pants!!! Glad they fit.

Caitlin said...

What a life changing experience! I am so impressed at how well you have adjusted, and I think that you should DEFINITELY be proud of M2's clean trach site!

Carin said...

What a wonderful post, you should be so proud of yourself! you are a great mom!

I love this picture, he is so adorable. and oh! that pic on the side bar is the best =)

Jen said...

this is a great post and it sounds like the next year brings so much promise. I really hope all goes well.

Anne said...

I had no doubt that you could do it and you did. And yes, take great pride in the clean trach site!!

Nina said...

It is so great to see such good progress... I am counting down with you for that surgery and will pray that all goes well.

He is a cutie!!