BFFriday

Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys.Source: Jaci, Ravings of a Mad Housewife

**I admit it, I am totally addicted to this who John & Kate drama. I have always liked the show, I've watched it from the beginning. It is the only reality show I watch. Granted the Duggers the Roloffs and the Little Couple get thrown in there every now and again if there is nothing else on to watch, but John & Kate, I've watched them religiously from the very beginning. Leading up the season premier last week I had been reading all the tabloids and watching the video clips online, but I totally thought it was a publicity stunt for the premier. But after watching it, I'm not so sure it was just a stunt. I know they 'signed up for it' but I kinda feel bad for both of them. And I know there will be backlash, I really feel bad for her. She looked to have pretty much been left alone with the kids in the episode. Man, I can hardly wait for Monday's show.

**Does anyone watch the Cake Boss? Srsly, that show rocks. It has been added to my list of regulars. Dude Cracks.Me.Up. I now am watching 2 reality shows. Thanks TLC.


**I started a new quilt design/project last night, and stayed up to late working on it, now I'm tired.

**Have no fear, I still HATE MY JOB. I've sent out dozens of resumes, but hasn't everyone else? I've had one interview, but so far that's it.


**I have absolutly.nothing.to.do. at work. Wed. and Thur. I read a book. I mean an entire book, each day. Don't worry I have a new book to read today. If I could just bring my sewing machine in that would be great. I have a lot of projects to work on.


**Today is M1's last day of preschool for the summer. I really think he is going to miss going. I also think Mamaw is going to miss him going. When he's at preschool she gets a break!! Next year he'll go 3 days a week so that will be good for them both.


I made this for M1 to give to my girlfriend that takes him to preschool. I went to college with her husband, and we now live 4 houses away from each other. Their daughter and M1 were in the same class this year, and will be next year too. She offered to take M1 for me. It has been a great help. He might not have gotten to go if it weren't for her. She's a Starbucks addict, like me, and I got the idea for the flower pin from Grace Violet.

Wordless Wenesday

Following Daddy....
For more WW check out 5 Minutes for Mom and Kati.

Tag your it.

Melissa tagged me with a sharing meme, a couple of weeks ago, I hadn't gotten around to doing it until now. I have no excuse why, I just suck like that. Anywho, here goes.

8 things I am looking forward to:
1. Getting laid off of work!
2. Finding a NEW JOB!
3. Being able to quit my newly acquired part time job- there's nothing wrong with the job itself, I just don't want to work 2 jobs.
4. The long Holiday weekend.
5. M2's Dr's appt in July.
6. M2's surgery, that will hopefully be scheduled at said Dr's appt in July.
7. Taking the M's to the Newport Aquarium and on the Ducks.
8. Taking M1 to Kings Island, (M2 isn't old enough yet).

8 things I did yesterday:
1. Sent out resumes to find a new job
2. Worked at both jobs
3. Had a late night snack with M2
4. Made dinner for the Ms and Hubby in the morning before I left for work.
5. Sat outside and read a book at lunch
6. Surfed the internet and read blogs at my full time job-I don't have much else to do!
7. Ate an ice cream cone in between jobs
8. Hugged and Kissed the Ms as much as possible

8 things I wish I could do:
1. Find a new job (seeing a theme yet?)
2. Get out of debt
3. Take the Ms to Disney World
4. Find out more info about my family history
5. Take a road trip-anywhere but here!
6. Get out of this pissed off/depressed funk- I know you are all tired of hearing about it-Sorry.
7. Learn to knit or crochet.
8. Learn to tell the difference between knitting and crocheting

8 shows I watch:
1. Prison Break
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Private Practice
4. Brothers & Sisters
5. Desperate Housewives
6. Law & Order - I like them all!!
7. Diego
8. Backyardigans

I'm supposed to tag 8 people, but I'm not, because, in case you haven't heard, I suck like that. So if you want to do it, feel free!

Wordless Wednesday...The Zoo

M1, 25 months (10/06)

Two and a half years later, M2, 13 months (4/09)

For more WW check out 5 Minutes for Mom and Kati.

Not Me Monday...Monday Again??

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to http://www.mycharmingkids.net read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not come home from work to this sweet little baby with a bruised eye and bloody lip last week. This is not from two separate falls in the same day. He is not still the cutest baby in the world.

And that little face did not look worse as the week went on.

We did not go to M1's, little friend's birthday party on Saturday night. The boys did not have a fabulous time. Nope, Not us!

I did not go scrap booking until Midnight on Friday night with some girl friends. We did not have a great time, and I did not get lots of pages done. I am not counting down the days until we get to go again. Not me!

I was not told that Hubby and the boys had a great time Friday night while I was not scrap booking. Hubby did not let the boys stay up way too late eating snacks and watching baseball! Nope, not him!

I did not start my part time job yesterday, and am not exhausted from working until after 10pm.

I did not send out a dozen resumes last week trying to find another real job. Nope, Not me!

Hubby is not going out of town this weekend leaving me home alone with the M’s. And we have not already started making plans of stuff to do. Nope, not us.

I did not get the rest of the garden planted this weekend. (I know, I’m a little late, I heard all about it from my Dad.)

I am not looking forward to having next Monday off work.

So, what did you not do this week? For more visit MckMama.

BFF... It's finally Friday!!

Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys.Source: Jaci, Ravings of a Mad Housewife

~Ok, seriously, I think I'm getting depressed over this whole job thing. I feel like our lives are ruined. I know people get laid off and pay cuts happen all the time, especially in this economy. I get it. But what pisses me off, is that our company (of 9 employees, including the 2 owners) made over 2 mill last year. Clear profit. WTF, where did that money go??? Why do I have to take a pay cut??? And along with that paycut they changed our 401K, they no longer participate, and doubled the cost of our insurance. Total, I'm losing over $600 per month, and I still have to work 40 hours a week. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Actually I change my mind, I don't think I'm depressed, I'm just PISSED OFF!!

~I totally think my office is a Hostile Work Environment. I HATE GOING THERE EVERYDAY!! Nobody talks to anybody. I HATE GOING THERE. And I never felt like that until last week.

~To those of you that have been laid off, about what % of your salary do you receive on unemployment? I really think I might have been further ahead to be laid off. I wouldn't have to pay as much in Cobra, and I could spend some extra time with my boys. How fun would that be!

~On a slightly lighter note, I got a part time job! Yep, I will be the (not so) chipper sales girl at Bath & Body works. Of course with this job comes evening and weekend work, which means less time to see my Boys. Yea, that's not a lighter note at all, that sucks.

~Oh, I do have a lighter note, I'm leaving work at 3 today to go scrapbooking with some girl friends until midnight! YIPPEEEE!!

~Tomorrow is out next door neighbors Birthday Party, he and M1 are about the same age, they play together almost every day. Both boys are invited, I think they will both have a lot of fun.

I guess this isn't really a BF, this is more of an I HATE MY JOB POST!

The vs. To

When to use to vs. the. Seems like a pretty simple concept right? Except we have noticed recently that M1 no longer uses the. He uses to instead. We've just noticed the word to creeping in more and more. I don't even know when he used the word the last. And I don't know how to correct him. Some examples of his the vs. to issues are:

Where's to Baby?

Are we going to to store?

What's to dog barking at?

What's to kitty doing?

Tractor won't fit into to barn.

Where's to ball?

It was cute at first, but now I afraid it's formed into a habit and I don't know how to turn it back. We keep trying to correct him and he looks at us and says 'Huh?' Clearly he doesn't understand the difference, but I know he used to use the word the, I just don't know why or when he stopped.

And the sad part? Hubby and I have gotten into a habit of calling M2, To Baby.

Wordless Wednesday

I AM a Rock Star.....

And in case you didn't already know, Chicks Dig Me.

For more WW check out 5 Minutes for Mom and Kati.

I.Hate.My.Job.

I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job.I hate my job.I hate my job.I hate my job.I hate my job.I hate my job.I hate my job.I hate my job. I hate my job.I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job.
I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I HATE MY JOB.

Damn, I was hoping that would make me feel better, but it didn't. I'm still pissed off, and I still hate my job.

Not me Monday

I did not have to sit through a mandatory meeting at work last Friday, and that meeting did not require me to take a pay cut to keep my job. I did not in turn cry my eyes out for the rest of the day and the entire weekend.

I am not seriously thinking about taking my 401K out to help ease the pay cut. I know that is terrible, I will have to retire some day, but I also need a place to live today.

I am not going to have to get a part time job in order to make up for (part of) the pay cut that I had to take. I do not have an interview this afternoon for that part time job.

I did not have a fantasic Mother's Day.

I did not decide to put ads on my blog, (see them to the left and the bottom?) AdSense apparently thinks that my blog is only about trachs and airways, since that is what all the ads relate to. I have not (ok I really have not) clicked on any of the ads, b/c that's illegal (or something like that) although I (do not) want to click on them b/c I actually am (not) interested in them. If anyone else is interested in trachs and airways and you find that you just don't get enough info about them from me, please feel free to click on the ads to the left and bottom. (Hint, Hint)

I did not let my 13 month old fall out of his high chair and on to the floor. I would never do that, I am a way better Mother than that.

I did not go roller skating on Saturday night with M1, it was not the first time in probably 20 years since I have been roller skating. I did not fall down, really, I DID NOT fall down.

I do not plan to finish an entire bottle of wine to night.

Let it rip....

Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys.
Source: Jaci, Ravings of a Mad Housewife



~One year ago today, M2 came home from the hospital for the second time. He was seven weeks old. Last Friday I told you he came home a year ago then for the first time. He was only home for about 18 hours the first time.
~Hubby and my Dad are building the M's a swing set this weekend. Not like the cheap, crappy metal ones that rusts like the one I had growing up. Oh no, they are getting one of the fancy smancy cedar ones, with a canopy and rock climbing wall that will last for like 80 years. I still have a scar down the front of my knee from one of the screws on my cheap, crappy metal rusty swing set. Bitter, Party of 1.....


~I went back to ENT this week, I have to have surgery for my deviated septum. Holy Crap, that's the last thing I need right now. I blame the M's. I don't know whose hard head did the blow to the nose (no pun intended, HA) to cause the deviated septum, so they both get the blame.


~We are having a company meeting at noon today. There will be cutbacks. I am terrified. I thought the economy was supposed to be getting better?

~Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful Mothers in Bloggy Land!!

~Does anyone else have 'spacing issue' fights with blogger when it's time to start a new paragraph? AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!

Wordless Wednesday

Crocs by the sandbox.......


For more WW click here and here.

**I used the random generator to pick the winners, but apparently I'm not smart enough to figure out how to post the results on my blog. You'll just have to trust me!

The winner of my 100th post giveaway is: Carin
And the two winners of the Country Bob's All Purpose Sauce are: Kelly and T Rex Mom

Email me your mailing addresses, Carin I'll mail your wreath this week, Kelly and T Rex Mom, your sauce bottles will come directly from Country Bob's.

For those of you are in love with that wreath and didn't win you can always stop over at my Etsy Store!!

One year ago today…another one

One year ago today I dialed 911 for the first time in my life. And reported to the operator that my then 6 week old baby, who had just been discharged from Children’s Hospital 18 hours ago, and was at home for the first time in his short life, was blue, covered in blood, and unresponsive. Yes, I’m serious.

Let me back track a little. If you read my post yesterday you saw that May 1st, 2008, M2 came home from the hospital from the NICU for first time, he was six weeks old. He was discharged at about 7pm. We were ecstatic. It was so exciting to finally be home, together, as a family. Looking back on the previous 6 weeks I don’t think we stopped long enough to realize that he was missing at home. We ran back in forth between the NICU and home, and my parent’s house (where M1 was staying) without even thinking about it. So on May 2nd, when we all woke up for the morning under one roof, and all sat down together for breakfast it was like Heaven on Earth.

M2 had a Dr appt that morning. My Mom was coming over to watch M1 while we took M2 to the Dr. When we came home from the Dr, my Mom graciously volunteered to sit with both M’s, and told Hubby and I to go out to lunch and enjoy ourselves. We took her up on her offer, went to lunch and to the grocery store. We hadn’t been home in 6 weeks; there was no food, no formula and no diapers. When we got back from lunch M1 was already laying down for a nap and Mom had said that M2 had just fallen asleep in his bouncy seat. As much as I wanted to hold him and kiss him, I had learned the hard way with M1, you never wake a sleeping baby.

Mom left to run some errands with the promise to return in a couple hours, and Hubby and I put the groceries away while the M’s napped, one upstairs in his bed, and one in the kitchen, not more than five steps away, in his bouncy seat.

It was such a nice, spring day, and we had been cooped up in the dark NICU for weeks, so I decided to go to the front porch and plant some flowers. And since I was going to be outside, Hubby was going to stay inside, b/c babies with trach's can’t cry, and we would not be able to tell when M2 woke up. Our hall bath, just around the corner from our kitchen had needed some work and little by little Hubby had been dry wall-ing, and since he was inside he decided to sand the dry wall down to get it ready for a new paint job.

We had both been peeking around the corner to check on M2, sleeping soundly, and went on with our work. At one point Hubby poked his head out the door and said he was going to run upstairs, but M2 was still asleep. I planted a few more flowers and went in to check on him again.

When I walked in the kitchen M2 was blue. (Man this is a hard post to write.) And as I ran to him, screaming for Hubby, I realized his sleeper was covered in blood. I immediately pulled him out of his chair and laid him on the floor on his back, and grabbed his suction machine to suction out his trach. Hubby handed me the phone to call 911. And he continued to suction out M2’s trach. My hands were filthy from planting, and trach care and suction is supposed to be a sterile procedure, I didn’t even wash my hands before grabbing him. Hubby performed CPR, (mouth to trach of course) and we started giving M2 breaths with the Ambu bag. I ran outside to meet the squad.

The first EMT raced in the house while I was telling him everything. After he saw M2 laying on the floor, he turned his head back to the other EMT’s who were making there way into the house with equipment and told them we were going, they didn’t even bring the equipment in. The EMT looked at me and said ‘Mom, get your shoes on, we’re going’.

As I write this post, I realize I have on the exact same shirt and jeans I had on that day.

I will never forget seeing the EMT carry my blue and bloody baby to the awaiting squad. And just as he jumped over the flowers I had just planted, carrying my baby, my mom pulled up. ‘What happened?’, she asked in a panic ‘I don’t know’ I said back to her, as I was climbing into the squad. I will never forget looking out of the squad window and seeing Hubby and my Mom standing on the front porch.

Once we were in the squad, and they started giving M2 ‘blow bys’ he stared to breathe again and started turning from blue, to gray. He was struggling to breathe, his pulse ox was very low, and his breathing rate was very high, but he was breathing. I wish I could have put the window of the squad down and yell to Hubby and Mom that he was breathing, but it was too late by then. And I realized I didn’t have my phone, my camera, or my purse. After all the EMT had only told me to get my shoes.

I remember as we were driving to the main road to get to the interstate that it was taking forever. I even said to one of the EMT’s that I thought we would be going faster, and would have made it further than what we had.

Hubby got to Children’s just as they were transferring M2 from the stretcher to the warming bed in the ER, I still can’t believe how fast Hubby got there; I guess it pays to have a sports car. Most of the time in the ER is a blur, I know my favorite ENT resident from the NICU came in; it was great to see her face. I know the ER Dr we had was amazing, and very calm and caring to both M2 and us. I know they showed us chest x-rays, M2’s lungs were cloudy. And they told us they had no idea what had happened, but they did get him stabilized in the ER. I know I called my Mom on the ER phone and asked her to come to Children’s Hospital with us. I know one of the ER nurses handed my a bag that had M2's sleeper in it. It wasn't until the next day that I looked at the sleeper and realized it was covered in blood. I couldn't keep it, I had to throw it away. I think we were more scared that day than when he was transported from the birth hospital

We have no idea how long M2 was not breathing, we had no concept of time that afternoon. M1 usually lays down for his nap at around 1pm; my Mom had said that M2 had fallen asleep shortly after that. My Mom also said she pulled on to our street at 3:42 and the squad was already there. That’s all we know. We don’t know if it had been 5 minutes from the time Hubby went upstairs to when I found him or if it had been 25 minutes. We just can’t piece it together.

My Dad took M1 to their house, and my Mom got to Children’s with some clothes for M2, my purse, cell, camera and a sweatshirt for me, just as they were moving us up to the PICU. The PICU Dr started a central line is M2’s thigh as soon as we got there. You see at first the Dr’s that M2’s lungs were cloudy b/c he had pneumonia, it wasn’t until the next day they realized it wasn’t pneumonia, it was blood in his lungs. Several tests were run on him, and we were told that he was going to need a blood transfusion. We refused.

We had been in the NICU with a couple who had refused a blood transfusion b/c of their religious beliefs; we knew they and their baby were still in the NICU so we went in search of them. They told us of a couple different medicines that can make blood cells grow faster to avoid a transfusion. We told the doctors that’s what we wanted for M2 and they obliged.

M2 was in the PICU for another full week before coming home, for the second time. He still had a very low blood count when he was discharged, and was still very pale, but his Pediatrician kept an eye on him and he eventually got his blood counts up on his own without the transfusion.

The Drs never did figure out exactly what happened. Although they think that there could have been a scab from his trach surgery that popped off causing the bleeding. They think since he was asleep his actual trach could have been sitting on the scab and made the bleeding worse. Since he was just a baby his lungs filled with blood quickly making him asphyxiate on his own blood. They think this is what happened; none of the doctors at Children’s had ever had anything like this happen before.